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| Trauma still lingers ... |
| 04.30.04 (11:30 am) [edit] |
2.11am. Terribly exhausted. Started by day at 7am. Breakfast meeting till 12pm. Lunch followed by a long and rewarding swim with Danny. Swam 10 full laps. Gosh. Then Production Meeting at 6pm in Cafe Cartel followed by a "treat" to a French film from the Singapore's Film Festival.
Saw some of my USP professors and even Denise. At the end of the film, me and Denise were like so stunned by the ending and we just stared blankly at each other while walking out of the theatre. I am still pondering over the whole film. What message is it trying to convey? For now, I can't afford any intelligent analysis but maybe a brief run-thru of the "SHOCKING" factor in the film.
I should have take this seriously when I read the reviews:
[i]It is an encounter, depicted without frills, between two people and the immense empty desert, with an ever present vague threat that culminates in a [b]cruel ending[/b]. [/i]
Watching the whole film was laborious. Slow, without much significant plot running thru. All we know is that the protagonists are on a road journey into 29 Palms. A lot of raw carnal sex. Wonder why they din put a rating for this. Let's see. About one every 20 mins? And yes, they were nude for at least 10 mins while scaling the rock mountains. Strangely they remind me a lot abt Adam and Eve. Haha. And so for the next 90 mins or so, we see them travel, make love, fight, travel, make love, fight. Definitely a low budget film coz it was just the two of them. Din really see anyone else in the film which is quite normal since the setting is in the desert. Anyway, while I was fidgeting around, I wonder how the ending will be like. Then comes the moment where out of nowhere a white car intercepted them, a group of 3 men dragged them out. Stripped the gal. Whack the guy on his head many many times. Bloody. Then the best part. No no...sorry, the gf wasn't raped to many people's disappointment I guess, haha. Instead... one guy pushed the guy down and pulled down his pants. AND SODOMISE HIM!!! RIGHT ON THE SPOT WITH HIS GF LOOKING HELPLESSLY. I swear that I heard the pin drop when the protagonist David was sodomised. Ok, if u think this is the traumatizing part, then u r wrong. The film dragged on for another 15 mins with them ended up in a hotel room. The gal came into the room with pizza hoping to cheer him up. But David locked himself in the toilet. She waited. The audience waited. For a gd whole 5 mins. Then out came David from the toilet. And with a spine chilling scream, he ran up to this gf and stab her with a knife multiple times. Was too shocked to count. He was bald and bleeding from his head. Apparently he was "shaving" in the toilet. Then it flash to the next screen where he killed himself and was founded by a policeman in the desert. The film ended there and there.
If you are wondering what the fish is going on, dun worrie...u aren't alone. This is so traumatizing yet intriguing. Gonna hit the bed and figure this out tomorrow. Damm, I have to wake up at 7am again. This time to accompany my mum to the temple. Zzzzzz
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| One Year 2004 Resolution Down! |
| 04.30.04 (10:55 am) [edit] |
Collected my driving license from the post office this afternoon. Boy am I glad to finally possess this long awaited piece of card that is worth over $2000. Phew... Now that I have my license, I am realli looking forward to drive a car down on Singapore road. The thrill of driving on hi-ways, the fun of driving out with my khakis for supper in the middle of the night and of course the convenience of dating! With a car, I can drive to any secret getaways in Singapore Island. Aren't we suppose to be romanticising S'pore? Hee.
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| Work Work Work |
| 04.29.04 (9:06 am) [edit] |
"Pi Pa Ni Ge Luo Ding Dong" so says Sun Wu Kong in Channel U new 7pm TV serial. Ridiculous plot with very little relation to the actual classic of Journey to the West. I mean how can the monkey god actually fall in love with the Bone Demoness albeit the fact that the demoness is played by Yang Gong Ru. *Slurp* And isn't Zhong Kui suppose to be very ugly??? And why is this Zhong Kui's pose so much like Bu Jing Yun in Feng Yun??? And... look at our East Dragon King. Goodness, why is he wearing a pair of big scuba googles??!! And he willingly gave the Golden Rod to Wukong as a thank you gift for bringing him to see the sunset! Eww... BUT... I am still gonna watch the crappy show, haha. Coz Twins and Sammi Cheng are starring too. *lafs* Besides this is the only entertainment I get for a day. Pathetic.
Today is a day where I worked my ass off. From the minute I wake up (by a phone call from Andre) till now, I have been working hard and mighty with Yuan Lin and gang. Retreat is next wk and we have only 3 days left to get every ready. Program, guest list, games, logistics, food, safety and training! And with my dear boss at my throat, I have no choice but to pia. But at least I am done for the day. I have modified the Project Mgt Slides and have also created a new series of training program which I titled "The Art of Talking" for my associates. Trying to customise it to suit SCC's work and by special request from the BoD to make it super fun and interesting. Tough job man BUT I will try...
Gonna hit the sack coz I have to be up by 7am tomorrow. Breakfast meeting..believe it or not??!! But well, at least it takes my mind off everything else. :?
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| How to tame a monster class? |
| 04.28.04 (9:42 am) [edit] |
Some insights I gained after a wk of relief teaching...
Through trial and error...
I nearly died...
1. [b]First Impression Counts[/b]
[i]Do not get bought in by the innocent smiles they give you upon first encounter. They are merely "testing" you!!! If u return the smile, gd luck coz you have just given them the green lite to pee and shit on your head.[/i]
2. [b]Practice the Ultimate Cold Stare.[/b]
[i]Used it freely on your students to warn them tat you are not to be trifled with.[/i]
3. [b]杀鸡ࡨ 3;猴[/b]
[i]Pick a student that can be easily subdued. Pull him/her out and unleash your punishment on him/her. Make sure it's not too drastic to totally ruin your rapport with the kids but fierce enough to bring the message across to the rest of the class. If you can project loud enuff to the class next door, better still.[/i]
4. [b]Be unpredictable![/b]
[i]When you are too nice to the students, they will begin their assault on you. They are cunning... they will start small eg. coming up to you to complain about their frens, or constantly asking for toilet breaks. So before they become unmanageable, unleash the monster in you! (suddenly, without warning) [/i]
5. [b]Silence is a formidable weapon. [/b]
[i]If the class becomes too rowdy and it is almost impossible to shout coz you have lost your voice for whatever reasons, just keep still. Stare at a certain direction and keep realli quiet. It will be more effective if you applied this tactic halfway thru' your speech. The students will automatically quieten down and become very uneasy. When everyone keep realli quiet, pretend nothing has happen and continue teaching.
WARNING: Not advisable to use more than 5 times a day.[/i]
6. [b]Physical Exercise helps.[/b]
[i]Make all the students raise both their hands up and warn them not to put them down. Else you will increase the punishment time. To make it less harmful to the weaker students, keep it to not more than 1 minute. [/i]
7. [b]Have baits to lure them into obedience.[/b]
[i]If you are teaching before recess, threaten to cut their recess break by 5 mins for every student that make unneccessary noises. Remember to stay by your threats else they will dismiss your threats as just harmless the next time round.
If you are teaching them after recess, then use dismissal as an excuse. Hold them back after school. And if they try to give excuse like "My mummy is waiting for me at home etc" Leverage on it - tell the student that this is even better coz you can tell his/her mum how he/she misbehaves in school.[/i]
8. [b]Turn a blind side to attention seekers[/b]
[i]
There are many students in class that do not get much attention from their parents at home. So they will seek the attention from their classmates and teachers. They are usually the problematic ones. I have one student named Bernard who will run around the class, making farnie noises or hide under tables or lay on the floor flat. Many teachers will try to stop him and pep talk him etc. But I simply ignore him and let him continue until he gets tired of it. He ultimately got back to his seat defeated.[/i]
9. [b]Get out of my class NOW![/b]
[i]Simple tactic. If they are too noisy, get them out of the class. Make them stand outside the classroom with their textbook. It will create a more conducive encvironment for students to learn.[/i]
10. [b]Make a name for youself[/b]
[i]
My all time fave tactic. When I come in, I list down all the rules. I give them a short "history" of myself. I leverage it upon the fact that many of their seniors know me (since I have been teaching in that pri. sch for three yrs) Basically, I am a permanent relief teacher. I tell them how nasty I am. How I send students to the principal office and how I make students cry. Somehow, they will take in your words and well, there you go. A fiesty teacher not to be trifled with. Oh and practice your walk! Walk up and down the classroom at a steady pace, almost like marching. Keep their eyes on you as you talk and walk. [/i]
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| Thanks, Power-that-Be! |
| 04.27.04 (7:01 am) [edit] |
It's yet another meaningful day for me at school. I am really thankful to the Powers-that-Be for continuously providing me with new assignments tat take my mind off other stuff. Each day, it just gets better. In fact, just this afternoon, Mr Leow offered me another relief teaching duties on Fri morning. :D And.... someone is treating me to catch an art film this Fri. Either an award Russian film titled "Father & Son" from Film Festival Rotterdam. Or a French film shot in California Joshua Tree Desert titled "29 Palms". Both films have their uniqueness and I can't wait to watch them.
[b]FATHER AND SON[/b]
[i][b]After the bravura of Russian Ark, Sokurov again films with his eyes shut. The result is a dreamlike, lyrical and physical film about a love between a father and son, who are almost symbiotically linked in the absence of the mother.[/b][/i]
Alexander Sokurov's Russian Ark was a great success worldwide last year: even in America, the bravura piece in one shot attracted thousands of viewers. His next, Father and Son, is a classic Sokurov, a mythical, lyrical film that should be seen as the second part of the family trilogy that started with Mother and Son (1996). Father and son share an apartment on the top floor of a house, where they live in an intimate world of memories and everyday rituals. Mother died early, son Alexei is only 20 years younger than his father. While they know they will one day have to free themselves from their fraternal symbiosis, this seems impossible for now. Who should comfort Alexei with his recurring nightmares? For the father, his son is inextricably tied up with his beloved wife. The son follows in his father's military footsteps: he loves sport, tends to irresponsible behaviour and has problems with his girlfriend, who is jealous of his close bond with his father. Sokurov filmed this story partly in St. Petersburg, partly on the roofs of Lisbon: fluent, sometimes almost a dance performance, then reminiscent of ancient sculpture. A dreamy 'fairytale' about an omnipotent love between a father and a son, filled with an eroticism that is hard to place.
[b]29 PALMS[/b]
[i][b]An American photographer and his new French girlfriend drive their Hummer through the desert near Twentynine Palms, not far from Zabriskie Point. They seem to be in love, but horror is on the horizon. "This is a couple that lives for pure pleasure and that will be led into abomination." Breathtaking landscapes and plenty of fucking in 'American' film by Dumont.[/b][/i]
For the first time, Dumont has made a film in America, away from his familiar northern France. Looking for locations for another film, the film maker became fascinated by the imposing Joshua Tree Desert in California. The indefinable fear that crept up on him through the intangible expanse of this unique landscape motivated him to make this film. A photographer, accompanied by his new girlfriend, enters the desert near the small community of Twentynine Palms looking for locations. The two seem very much in love, but cannot communicate, because they express themselves in different languages. Together they discover the desert, lose themselves in the wild nature and make love often and uncomplicatedly. It is an encounter, depicted without frills, between two people and the immense empty desert, with an ever present vague threat that culminates in a cruel ending. Against the spectacular background of the breathtaking images of the desert, Dumont creates a powerful dose of suspense as the attention of the characters often seems attracted to things off-screen or somewhere in the background. The wilderness and the uneasy relationship between the two protagonists have a gruesome potential, so the film continually puts its viewers to the test.
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| The pain in the fathers' eyes |
| 04.26.04 (6:05 am) [edit] |
Yet another bombing in Baghdad.
Yet another death.
When will this world ever learn?
God, pls save the world ...
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| If only ... |
| 04.26.04 (5:53 am) [edit] |
[i]"I cleared the history of my browser. Pity that it's never just a click of a mouse to remove things that happened in the past." [/i]
Got this from my gd fren's blog. I can't help but to agree. I have been keeping so many sms-es that I kept getting the "Full" warning on my mobile phone. There are just too many nice sms-es that I want to keep to remind me of the special moment or perhaps something significant. But yesterday, I decided to read every single one that I saved. Took me quite a while and after that, I deleted everything. "INBOX EMPTY" How I wish it says: "SAD MEMORIES CLEARED. DO YOU WISH TO KEY IN HAPPY MEMORIES?" :wink: I admit that it felt horrible and there was undeniably a tinge of regret but there is really no point keeping messages in archive folder. There is no way you can go back in time. There is no way things will be the same again...I juz have to tell myself that it is for the better and move on.
Was suppose to go out with a fren of mine to celebrate his belated b'day but in the end I did not go. I could not conjure any mood to go and I wun want him to see me in such a sorry state. Celebrate your b'day another time yeah! Hope u understand. I am trying realli hard... and I guess you are right. You are always right about such stuff yeah *weak grinz*
Instead, I took up Mr Leow's offer and went to teach in my pri. sch. Two days assignment. Din realli feel like cooping at home. Neither did I want to meet anyone. So I thot working will be a gd thing to do. And I had a fantastic time. The kids realli cheer me up a lot. It will take me a long long time to jot what I did in class today. Let's just say that I told the story of "Three Little Pigs" today in class, made a boy sit alone in front of the class, played "Guess what Material I am made of " for Science, lectured the class on the importance of discipline, helped a student fix his mechanical pencil, talk to a student's dad about his homework, mark 80 scripts... Haha, you get what I mean. Oh yeah, I din know that Malcolms are so hard to deal with. I had one tough nut to crack in my class today. Malcolm Tan. Super rebellious. Big Bully. Run around in class. Question the teachers' authority. Are all Malcolms like that (Mr Lee Yan Ze? haha) But at the end of the day, they forget that you scold them and with a itsy bitsy of sadness, they all still say good bye to me in their most innocent way. I realise that teaching is still my ambition all along. It had been my childhood ambition. I thot I fulfilled it during Mar 2000 and should move on to fulfil other new ambitions. But in the end, I am back where I belong. Walking down the familiar corridor that I once walked. But instead of greeting my teacher, I was greeted by a bunch of kids who reminds me of myself 10 years ago. Man, how time flies...
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| Everything's Eventual |
| 04.25.04 (9:50 am) [edit] |
I was given an ultimatum today. But I guess it was coming anyway. It was just a matter of time I suppose. As Piper and Leo always lament: "It just wasn't meant to to be..." So how am I taking it? I realli don't know. All I know is that life goes on and I will just have to move on. Trying to pick myself up... Thot it's going to be easy but I guess it isn't like what the books say. Then again isn't everything's eventual?
Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow, I will be like Lucy from 50 First Dates. But instead of all my memories, can I just have the sad ones removed slate clean? Let my feelings return back to Feb 16 where things remain as happi as ever. But that means that I will not retain the sweet memories too. Those that made my heart skip a beat. The movie tickets that I collected since our first movie. The smses that I wait every night ... I can't believe how silly I am. To myself, good luck and sweet dreams.
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| Along comes my Darling... |
| 04.24.04 (8:51 am) [edit] |
I just got married to a new piece of cool metal!
Check out the specifications!!!
AMD Athlon XP 2600+ Box
ABIT NF7-S Ver 2.0 NForce 2 Mainboard
KINGSTON PC 3200 256 MB DDR400 SDRAM
INNOD3D GE-Force FX5200 128 MB DDR TV out DVI
MAXTOR SATA 80GB 7200 RPM HDD
PANASONIC 1.44MB FDD
SAMSUMG 52X CD-ROM
AOPEN Combo 52X32X52X16X INT Drive
iCUTE ALO5-T 420W ATX Casing
BENG PS2 Keyboard
BENG PS2 Optical Mouse
SAMSUNG 153V 15" LCD MONITOR
Cost me a good $1.7K and now I am broke...but I still have you, my darling. *MUACKS*
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| Falling in Love |
| 04.22.04 (8:01 pm) [edit] |
[i]Been feeling a bit troubled these days. Not a big deal I guess. Everyone feels troubled at some point in their life. But now that exams are over, I seem to have more time to think and therefore more time to feel troubled. Once, I consulted this fren of mine:
ME: "I think I am in love... but I dun know whether the person likes me or not. Probably this is just a one sided love? Coz I am not getting the right signals. Mabbe the person just treat me as a fren or probably the person is not even sure... Should I stop?"
FREN: "It doesn't matter if your love is reciprocrated. You will only leave the person when you stop loving that person. It's as simple as that. It doesn't matter if that person loves you back..."
So while pondering on what my fren said, I bump into this poem and I think I found some answers in there. [/i]
[u]
FALLING IN LOVE[/u]
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and
causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.
Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and
celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When this happen to young people, they too often try to
grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.
[b]They want answers where there are no answers. They
want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other
person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.[/b]
They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.
You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. [b]If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.[/b]
[b]If you find someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.[/b]
[b]If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.[/b]
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and
always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.
I guess this is it. It realli doesn't matter how that person feels about me. If things doesn't work out between us, I will just have to learn to move on and just stay as friends as what that person proposed. :?
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| Holidays officially start NOW!!! |
| 04.21.04 (4:12 am) [edit] |
Driving is easy - anyone can pick it up within a few lessons. But driving SAFELY is an art and that makes it [i]SO[/i] difficult to get that highly coveted, freedom ensuring, masculinely-affirmed driving license! In short, the damn card that is soo important in Singapore! And yes, my dear frens: I GOT THAT DAMN CARD!!! FINALLY!!! *cheers*
And now I can legally be on the road and holz can now officially begin. Life rocks!
[u]
Some tips that I took which [i]I think [/i]paid off:[/u]
1. Have 2 driving lessons prior to the actual test on the same day.
2. Dun dress too flamboyantly - tuck in your shirt and comb your hair neatly behind your ears!
3. Dun tell anyone that u r having your final exams coz if everyone knows, your chances of getting the license is inversely proportional to the numer of people you told. (Hehe, I think this is so true...)
4. Drive safely - Imagine that your loved ones are in the same car with you and somehow or rather, you will drive more consciously. Works for me.
5. Do not brake suddenly and jerk your car too much that cause your tester to have the urge to puke.
6. Be very demure and nice. In other words, act like a goody boy. I am so I din have to act *grinz*
7. It isn't end of the world to have a really fierce tester that keeps biting at you and giving sudden instructions out of nowhere.
8. If he asks you why you fail the first time, dun give him too much details else he will focus more on those weaknesses and you r dead!
9. If he asks you any other qns, just nod and agree. Laugh along with his crazy antics. Agree whatever he says BUT keep your head in front!
10. Pray to whichever God u know of.
11. Only peek at your checklist. NEVER ask him what you did wrong, This will only irritate him!
12. Be friendly to everyone - wish everyone luck and u will get gd luck too.
Hope this helps... :P
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| (No longer) Our song |
| 04.20.04 (9:38 am) [edit] |
[i]This is a song that I have almost forgotten. Sometimes, songs are like memory landmarks that have emotional baggages tied to it. It reminds us of a particular moment and how we are feeling at that time. This is one such song...[/i]
I'm lying in my bed, all alone
Called you once again, no one is home
It's raining outside, on Saturday night
Turning out the light, again I tried
My friends say I'm too good, too good for you
And maybe that is true, well I don't care
What do they all know, they got it all wrong
This is so unfair, they're playing our song
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
Something's going on, what is wrong
I want you to be here, why won't you come
And spend some time with me, can't you see
Have we come undone
Is this the end of our song
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
BRIDGE
How do I deal
With how I feel
How to reveal
Oooh... what is real love
As another day fades away
So I say
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
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| 7D 6N Trip to 香港 |
| 04.20.04 (8:50 am) [edit] |
Whilst mugging for exams, our dear KC came up with an itenary for a 7D6N trip to Hong Kong, his home country, jio-ing us to go with him this coming Dec. I must say that this is very enticing but I wonder if I have $$ to go..haha. But well, I have 7 months to save. Or I may take up Stella's idea of finding a sugar mummy who can sponsor me and all my frens to go. *lafs* Mabbe I will realli get to go there finally. Hee
Day of Departure: 20 Dec 2004
UA805 - 0655
UA806 - 2055
Day 1: 觀塘
Day 2: 海洋公& #22290; & 山頂
Day 3: 大嶼山 & 淺水灣
Day 4: 尖沙泹
Day 5: 元郎 & 大埔 & Visit Cheryl (My Hong Kong exchange fren) & 太吉城
Day 6: 澳門 & 旺角
Day 7: 九龍灣
Hong Kong seems like a fun place to visit yeah. The scenery, the food, the shopping and most importantly, the company. It has been a long time since the whole of Diablo & extension come out and have fun. This will be a trip worth looking fwd to. Hong Kong, here I come! No wait...... SUGAR MUMMY, HERE I COME!!! :D
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| All By Myself |
| 04.18.04 (11:50 am) [edit] |
Mabbe it's the weather. Mabbe it's the lonesome night. Mabbe it's the calm before the storm. Mabbe it's just me...
When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Living alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore
When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone
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| What if xxx ??? |
| 04.17.04 (11:04 am) [edit] |
[i][b]What would you do if:[/b][/i]
[b]The world fell into the hands of alien?[/b]
1. Made myself a helmet wrapped with aluminium foil and wear it to prevent the aliens from reading my mind.
2. Grab my lil. cousin's baby communicator and tune to the aliens' communication channel to eavesdrop.
3. Come out and blast the aliens with my super soaker water gun. Ride their UFO to Mars and be the Ruler of all Aliens!
[b]Your house is surrounded by man-eating dinosaurs?[/b]
Did you say man eating dinosaurs? Superb. Give a call to Zordon and Alpha on my power coin telecommunicator and get them to send red, black, yellow and pink rangers as reinforcements. Using the power coins, we will call the ancient dinozords and defeat the dinosaurs with the power slash from our Megazord! Claim all credit and be the Defender of Earth, having a salary of variable amount according to my call.
[b]You're stucked in a house of zombies (like resident evil)?[/b]
I HATE ZOMBIES!!! Whip out my supersonic power gun and load it with lots of onions (or should it be garlic?) and shoot at them. If it dun work, call the aliens from Mars and order them to kill all the zombies they see.
[b]Someone gave you a million bucks?[/b]
Give them to the needy. I already have variable salary. *grin*
[b]Sadako climbed out of your tv set?[/b]
Yank her out of the tv set with her unwashed, dry and unconditioned hair. Punch her in her face. Slam her on the wall. Whip her with my belt. Kick her in her groin. Throw her into Singapore River and may she rot there!
[b]A genie gave u three wishes?[/b]
Wish that he will forever be my slave and I will then have indefinite wishes.
[b]Simon said your singing sucks?[/b]
Wish him to be a frog. Cook him and eat his legs. Get my Eric's Production crew to film the whole episode and film it to the whole world. Get my genie to send William Hong to me and turn him into a forg too. Eat his legs too. Muahahaha...
[b]Time stopped, and you could turn back in time?[/b]
Go back to the time where Sadako climb out of the TV. Ask her how she get in/out of tv set and throw Simon and William Hong into Sadako's well. Turn to Sadako and drag her with her unwashed, dry and unconditioned hair. Punch her in her face. Slam her on the wall. Whip her with my belt. Kick her in her groin. Throw her into Singapore River and may she rot there!
[b]You had the ability to change yourself into anything u wanted?[/b]
To be God and feel His unconditional love He has for us. Change the climate of Singapore to have 4 seasons. Call for a conference with Satan and his evil minions. Force them to sign a contract that says be good indefinitely.
[b]You suddenly become a superstar?[/b]
Oh man, I am not done with being God yet! What the heck!
[b]You suddenly go bankrupt?[/b]
Tat's easy. Wish myself to be rich again.
[b]You can fly?[/b]
But I have fear of heights?? Oh yeah, order my genie to remove my fear and I will fly to Neverland and challenge Peter Pan to a "Who fly the fastest" competition and winner get to keep Tinkle Bell and Wendy.
[b]You can cast spells?[/b]
Cast a spell on Peter Pan, made him fly as slow as a tortoise. I win and I get to bring Tinkle Bell and Wendy back to S'pore. Oh yeah, cast a spell to retrieve the Book of Shadows. Read the spell on the first page and become the all and powerful Charmed one. Cast a "Call a witch" spell and bring Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Paige to me. Tell them that they r now my slaves too!!! Haha. Order Prue to go out with me. Order Piper to teach me how to cook. Order Phoebe to go out with me when Prue is not out with me. Order Paige to stay home and clean the whole house for me.
[b]You go handicapped?[/b]
Why me?? Get genie to fix it.
[b]You can't see?[/b]
Bloody hell... genie, fix me!
[b]You can't hear?[/b]
GENIE, FIX ME UP!!!!!!!
[b]You had one breath to say something before you
die?[/b]
I live an unbelivable life!
[b]You had a chance to write a song on your life,
what would you call it?[/b]
"The Genie and Me"
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| (Me & U) Forever *wink* |
| 04.16.04 (7:59 am) [edit] |
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
You are the sun,
You are my light,
And you're the last thing on my mind,
Before I go to sleep at night,
You're always round,
When I'm in need,
When trouble's on my mind,
You put my soul at ease,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
We've had our fun,
We've made mistakes,
But who'd have guessed along that road,
We'd learn to give and take,
It's so much more than I could have dreamed,
Cause you make loving you, so easy for me,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
And girl I pray you leave me, never,
Cause this is the world, where lovers often go astray,
But if we love each other, we won't go that way,
So put your doubts aside,
Do what it takes to make it right,
I love you, forever, no-one can tear us apart,
I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
And I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (you took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever
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| Till death do us part? |
| 04.16.04 (1:04 am) [edit] |
[b]I was reading this blog of a girl whose boyfriend of 5 and 1/2 yrs passed away recently in a car accident. I cried. But I can't help it. I realli can't imagine the pain and grief that she is going through. No matter how her frens stand strong besides her, it will take a lot of courage to live on. It doesn't matter if it is a 5 days relationship or a 5 years relationship. Either way, it was love lost. But forever? I realli don't know. And I don't want to know. Let's not just take this as a lesson to teach us to treasure our loved ones. Take this as a testimony of true love, a love that will forever be a fairytale in Sabrina's chapter of life.[/b]
[u]Here's her farewell speech to her boyfriend at his funeral:[/u]
Hi, my name is Sabrina Chu and I [i]was[/i] ken's girlfriend of 5 and a half years. I want to reveal to you the Ken that I know and love. When Ken and I met, we found out that we shared the same Chinese name, yun yun. His means blessing, while mine means happiness. We thought this truly meant something special. From then on, we became the yun-yun tag-team duo in our minds, out to conquer the world together.
When I first met Ken, what drew me to him was his charismatic behavior. Wherever Ken went, it seemed like a group of people would always want to be. I used to joke with him saying that he had roupies and that I wanted to be one of them. I think this was because ken showed his truest self to people, his proud, confident self who was shameless in every way which made people see how absolutely real he truly was. He was a person who naturally made friends everywhere he went, from walking onto a basketball court full of strangers, to meeting people at work, to friends of friends of friends, it didn matter how Ken met them, he was always himself with nothing to hide, and a big smile to make everyone feel comfortable.
He was a big big kid at heart. I think that is why I fell in love with him. He was like a child with a huge heart full of honesty and love. His love was like a pouring rain that drenched the both of us in happiness. What crazy, happy, hilarious moments Ken shared with all of you can be equal in the amount of love he showered among myself and everyone else. He cared so much about his friends and family.
We would call each other up at night and talk about what was on our minds that day. He would never hesitate to tell me if a friend was in relationship troubles or if he hadn seen his brother or family in awhile, or how he looked so forward to our next monthly reunion. We would talk for hours about the issues that bothered him and try to figure out how to help him or the others. Whenever one of his brothers had a girlfriend, he always talked to me about how he was always so interested to see if they were happy and if not, how he could help,
In addition to having one of the biggest hearts, ken was also a fantastic planner. He loved to plan social events with friends old and new, from high school dinners to days at the beach and hangouts at his apartment. He hated losing touch with people and we would talk about some of the best memories he had of some of his friends long gone. Every time I went down to San Diego, Ken would plan out an itinerary of events for us to do. He always wanted to make sure we had a great time and even made sure to schedule in hours of uddling time.?Ken always aimed to please. He liked to plan out his life so he had direction. He was to work for a fantastic company, make lots of money, get married, buy a huge house, have septuplets with me, have seven dogs, and seven cars, one for every day of the week. He wanted a BMW and he said I could never drive it because it would HAVE to be stick shift and I would just mess it up. He said I would have to have my own cars.
Ken wanted to do all these things because it would make him happy and he also wanted to make his family proud of him. He always wanted to get higher grades to please his parents but since Ken was a socialite, he was easily lured away from schoolwork to either playing basketball or videogames with friends. He wanted to make lots of money so that he could show his parents his independence and drive to succeed.
We were blessed to have Ken with us for 23 wonderfully exciting, blissful, and enriching years. I was lucky to take a special part in 6 of those years. Each year more loving and remarkable than the next. Ken taught me a lot about life and love. Our entire relationship was long-distance, this alone can tell you how hard we worked together. Kenneth always believed in us during every step and was very expressive to me about it. Like I said, his heart was so big, I think it could swallow up the oceans.
In a yearbook entry he wrote to me he said: Sabrina Leann Chu, you will always be loved by me. When you do turn into an old hag, I hope I\\\'m right next to you holding your beautiful body in my arms. When we are old, we\\\'ll remember all the [stuff] we went through to get to where we are when we read this. We were the ones to survive a long distance relationship. Many doubted us at first, and we watched many fail on the same exact journey, but because we fit together so perfectly, we can endure anything. Ie waited for you for so many years and I would do it again if I had to. I don ever regret the choice I made, because I know it was the right one. The choice to fall in love with you.
I hope you can see that inside that big, giant exterior, Ken had a heart of gold and a personality that shined like silver. These are some of the great memories we can all take away with us.
He has left us now and entered into God\\\'s Kingdom, a place of wonders and joy. I asked God to let Ken play on his top basketball team because Ken\\\'s really good and that would make Ken sooo happy. I hope he\\\'s slam dunking right now because he has always wanted to do that.
In heaven is where our Kenneth is now, and someday I will meet with him again. I hope someday you will too.
You are my sunshine honey. You always will be.
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| This is it... |
| 04.15.04 (4:25 pm) [edit] |
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Morning peeps! The sunrise today is absolutely captivating. It pays to wake up early (or not sleep in my case) Haha. OK, I did sleep a lil. It's Kevin who din sleep all night. Power! Mi and Malcolm doze off like babies after 3. And u know what, Kevin's mum bought us breakfast from JB!!! :P So thoughtful of his mum (who stays in JB) and drove to Singapore to bring us breakfast coz she knows that we have been studying all night. Ah... we r soo blessed. Ok, gonna eat and then go for my paper. Wish me luck! Hopefully, the dining philosophy will be asked since tat's one of the only thing that I did try to memorise. Hehe..
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| Computer Science @ its best!Computer Science @ its best! |
| 04.15.04 (10:54 am) [edit] |
Sometimes I wonder why I am wasting time solving silly problems in Computer Science. Take a look at this classical "problem" which - in my opinion - isn't a problem at all!
[u][b]
DINING PHILOSOPHY[/b][/u]
[i]Five philosophers are seated around a circular table. Each philosopher has a plate of spaghetti. The spaghetti is so slippery that a philosopher needs two forks to eat it. Between each pairs of plate is one fork. The life of a philosopher consists of alternate periods of eating and thinking. When a philosopher gets hungry, she tries to acquire her left fork and right fork, one at a time, in either order. If successful in acquiring both forks, she will eat for a while else she will continue to think. They key question is: [b]Can you write a program for each philosopher that does what it is suppose to do and never get stuck?[/b][/i]
[u]My solution:[/u]
1. Eat something else for goodness sake and choose something that requires just one fork. Say lasagne?
2. If they realli have to eat that slippery spaghetti, can't they have 5 pairs of fork then?
3. Ask the philosophers to get a life. If they can spend so much time thinking, can't they even realise that it is almost impossible to eat with just 5 forks?
4. Or a more direct answer, eat with your hands. You can twirl the spaghetti with your fingers and trust me, they taste equally yummy too! *Slurp*
5. And if they realli have to figure this problem, get one of them to eat first while the four think. And then take turns according to their age. Simple!
But our dear Computer Scientists cannot accept simple common sensical solutions. They choose to think in a totally different way. And when I say different, I mean absurd! And by the way, my dear frens, you may want to memorise this code for tomorrow's paper. Darn!
[u]Their "Genius" Solution:[/u]
#define N 5
#define LEFT (i + N - 1)%N
#define RIGHT (i+1)%N
#define THINKING 0
#define HUNGRY 1
#define EATING 2
typedef int semaphore;
int state[N];
semaphore mutex = 1;
semaphore s{N];
void philosopher(int i)
{
while (TRUE) {
think();
take_fork(i);
eat();
out_fork(i);
}
}
void take_fork(int i)
{
down(&mutex);
state[i] = HUNGRY;
test(i);
up(&mutex);
down(&s[i]);
}
void put_fork(int i)
{
down(&mutex);
state[i] = THINKING;
test(LEFT);
test(RIGHT);
up(&mutex);
}
void test(i)
{
if (state[i] == HUNGRY && state[LEFT] != EATING && state[RIGHT] != EATING) {
state[i] = EATING;
up(&s[i]);
}
}
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| Can't accounting tutors count? |
| 04.15.04 (5:39 am) [edit] |
Just an observation I made while waiting "patiently" for 10 accounting tutors to finish counting 691 scripts. Dammit, they take a realli realli long time. Exams ended at 7.01pm. And we were only released at 7.25pm. Goodness. They count and they count. And best, they can even joke along the way. I bet they must be laughing at how helpless and foolish we were to sit at our little desk playing with threads or staring in blank space. 10 tutors counting while 691 pairs of eyes were on them. Perhaps that's why they are so slow.. Perhaps they are uncomfortable being in the centre of attraction. But what the heck! Can't you count a bit faster so that the poor boy can watch his 7pm tv serial ON TIME??!! Bingo. I let the cat out of the bag. I am pissed coz I miss my show! Arrgghh... :?
Well, that's part of the exams stress! You get pissed with the little things and yeah, accounting tutors can't count!!! I dun care but I am gonna chant this from now till I start mugging for my OS paper which is at 9am tomorrow. Oh, did I mention that I am staying overnight in school to mug? Great. (To myself) Have a suckish exams and a crappy long night! :shock:
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| 答 案 - Beautiful Lyrics |
| 04.14.04 (8:30 pm) [edit] |
雲 很 淡 才 顯 得 天 那 麼 藍 因 為 愛 沒 有 答 案 才 會 在 心 中 餘 波 盪 漾
於 是 你 終 於 明 白 愛 和 擁 有 本 無 關 曾 經 在 交 會 剎 那 那 份 感 動 是 一 生 的 寶 藏
[b]愛 活 在 心 上 不 是 時 間 可 輕 易 打 斷 就 算 是 交 會 時 短 記 憶 會 超 越 歲 月 邊 疆
愛 活 在 心 上 不 受 誰 的 決 定 改 變 方 向 你 真 愛 過 這 就 是 答 案 [/b]
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| "Will you marry me?" |
| 04.14.04 (10:11 am) [edit] |
Exams make me do stupid things. Went to my sis's room and sat down to watch one of her 100 downloaded Friends episode. Here's one that I think that is realli sweet... I wish I will say that to [i]the[/i] one in time to come.
[i]"I thought that it matters what I said or when and where I propose to you. Then I realise that the only thing that matters is that you made me happier which I never thought I will be. If you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way. Would you marry me?"[/i]
Tat's realli sweet, dun u think? OK, I am not in a lovey dovey mood if you r wondering. But I am just thinking of the prospect of me getting married in the first place. Will I? Beats me. :wink: Meanwhile, I better hit the sack and hope that tomorrow's Accounting Paper is easy and I will get an A for it. Hehe. Tat is all the matters for now. See, I told you exams suck!
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| Exams suck BIG time |
| 04.13.04 (10:33 am) [edit] |
I was just telling my fren how sucky life is when u have exams. Yes.. u hear that from me. Sucky life. Not exciting life. Haha. But I guess sucky is part of all the excitment that life has to offer. The negative kind I suppose. Whatever.
Whilst trying to mug, I came up with 10 reasons why exams suck. I strongly believe that 10 is simply too little. But if I were to really list down, I can do that forever... So here's just 10.
10 Reasons why Exams Suck:
1. You skip all your fave TV shows so that you have more time to study.
2. You realise that it did not make a difference and you start to curse and swear when your frens start discussing how great the show is the next day.
3. You recieve regular dosage of panic attack when you realise that you are not even halfway through your revision.
4. You still don't feel good when you finish the whole textbook coz you dun remember a single thing.
5. Your stress level accumulate so much that your cravings for tibits and junk food grow.
6. You eat and grow fat.
7. You get pimple outbreaks.
8. You feel unhealthy.
9. You have no mood to study coz you worry constantly about your waistline and your face. As a result, you lose precious time.
10. Go back to Point #1 again.
Din I tell you exams suck? :wink:
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| ~ Love is ... ~ (Part 2) |
| 04.12.04 (5:31 am) [edit] |
"Nah, I am not going. you guys go ahead, Count me out!" Jian Yu quipped on the phone. It was his friend, Allan. Nowadays, Jian Yu just doesn't feel like going out. Because it means that he has to smile even though he don't feel like it. He has to be happy even though he is not. And he wants to be alone. It only aches his heart when he see couples. He is not jealous of them. They merely reminded him of his inadequacy in the love department.
"Probably I am just not good enough. I have too many failed relationships. I break so many hearts... I just don't know what I want yet. So I am going to stick to myself." Jian Yu was very resolute not to get into any more relationships after breaking up with his ex girlfriend, Christine.
He knew her from the net and they chatted and became friends quickly. That was Jian Yu's usual place to make more friends virtually. "Perhaps, there are also many lonely people like me out there." he reasoned.
Not long, Jian Yu and Christine were together. They only knew each other for less than a week. Christine was a graduate in Biochemistry and she was 4 years older than Jian Yu. He was 20 then. This happened last year, a month before his 21st birthday. Jian Yu was feeling very lonely and he needed company. When Jian Yu first met her at Lot 1 Shopping Centre, he was smitten over her, She was tall, had long hair and looked like the girl in "Autumn in my Heart" - Enxi...He was very sure that she was the one for him. He forgot that he felt that way for his other ex girlfriends as well. She stayed alone and often invited him over to her place to stay over. They chatted and shared with each other their dreams. For a short while, Jian Yu thought that he had found true love. He tried his best to love her and showered her with little gifts and sweet sms. They even bought two rabbits to keep. For a while, she was happy and so Jian Yu was happy too. They had a love song that they sing every night on the phone. "The Prayer" by Josh Groban and Charlotee Church.
[i]"I pray you will be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know.
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place we will be safe"[/i]
Every night, they will sing. Jian Yu will sing the first verse and Christine will sing the second verse. They thought that their love will remained strong... but as time goes, Jian Yu has to go back to his normal life. He has been neglecting his friends. He has not been home for dinner. He has left all his dreams and aspiration behind. Christine wanted him to be always with her. His future was tied to hers. Jian Yu knew it was not right but kept very quiet about it. He remembered that love was a scarifice and perhaps that was a sacrifice he had to make.
On Christmas eve, Jian Yu was at his uncle's place celebrating Christmas. That was the usual practice but Christine reminded Jian Yu that he must be back home with her to celebrate Christmas with her. She had bought a chocolate log cake for him. Jian Yu was eager to celebrate with her but he also knew that he cannot miss his uncle's party. He has to go. His mum instructed him as well. So he promised her that he will be at her place before 12 midnight. At around 10pm, he had to leave. Wanting to give Christine a surprise, he asked his auntie whether he can bring home some Christmas food to another "party" of his. Of course the party was only between Christine and himself. But no one knew. At around 11.45pm, he reached Christine's place at Yew Tee. 15 mins more.... He nearly missed it.
Christine opened the door and thankfully she was not angry. In fact, she was happy to see that Jian Yu brought food for her.
"Where did you bought the food?" Christine asked curiously while unpacking the food.
"My auntie gave it to me. Hope you like it!" Jian Yu excitedly answered.
"Oh...I thought you got it yourself." Christine's tone stiffened. She sounded disappointed.
Jian Yu ignored her comments and they celebrated Christmas together. That night, Christine dropped a bomb onto Jian Yu...
"Let's break up..."
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| ~ Love is ... ~ (Part 1) |
| 04.11.04 (9:26 am) [edit] |
[i]I am surprised that some frens still remember the love story that I wrote more than a year ago, which was titled [b]I believe[/b] but sadly, I did not continue after Part 10 or so.
"So what happen to Jian Yu?" they asked. "Did u let him find true love?" I grinned. "I wish I can control such things. But seriously, is there really true love in this world?" I am still wondering... But there you go:Jian Yu, the protagonist of my story... [/i]
[LINE]
[i]"Choose love, whether it is a risk taken, rejection that is highly at stake or in any circumstances. Take, try and show it every way you can and always hold on to love and the thoughts of it. Seek it and you shall find love and let yourself be loved. Let your hope float once again and let love lead the way..."[/i]
"Yeah, like real. I let love lead the way and guess what, it lead me to nowhere..." Jian Yu thought to himself while he exited the website of someone he didn't even know. "This guy must either be an optimist in love or he just crapped."
Jian Yu is a 21 year old boy who still sees himself as a teenager. He likes to be treated as a boy because that means lesser responsibilties. Ever since he celebrated his 21st birthday, he felt being tied down by expectations from his mum, from his dad, from his relatives and even his friends around him. He has to be the someone whom he had never really wanted to be. But life still goes on and he had gotten used to living a planned life. He had made his parents proud by entering into the university, taking a degree in Arts and Social Sciences. He has many friends both in and out of school. He has everything he wanted. A happy family. With no money worries. No major problems. However, he was not satisfied. Who will? He wanted excitement in his life. He wanted to live his life like the characters in the movies. To be a super hero. To be a star... To be in the centre of attraction. Someone once told him that all these are temporary and will not give him happiness.
"Be satisfied with what you have, Jian Yu! You are a lucky man..you have almost everything, what else do you want?"
"I want to know how is it like to love someone...." Jian Yu thought to himself sadly. Somehow or rather, he felt that he was barred from being able to love someone wholeheartedly. He never really understand how it was like to sacrifice for someone he loved. Everytime he tried to open his heart to someone, his instincts will screamed at him to lay off. He was usually in and out of relationships and it has become as normal as watching a movie. He will anticipate the movie, telling himself that it would be the last movie he needed to watch... but after watching it, realised that it has ended and he will walked out of the cinema, back to whence he had started, empty and aimless. No one really thinks Jian Yu is incapable of love. He was very well liked in school and it was not difficult for him to attract the girls' attention. Most of his friends think that Jian Yu is very popular and has a lot of good friends. He will never be lonely. But who will understand that behind his closed door, he was a lonely boy at heart who keeps wondering what he had done wrong? What had he not have compared to the rest of the guys who are so resolute in their relationships.
"I guess I will have to stay lonley throughout my life..." lamented Jian Yu. He tried to sound non-chalent but deep in his heart, he felt horrible, hurt and angry... So when he saw how the webmaster proclaim to let love lead the way, he was dead sure that it was impossible.
"Boy boy...come out for dinner!"
That was his mum. He switched off his computer and walked out of his room. Unknowingly to him, love always had a way around things. Perhaps, his time has not come...
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| Relatives are people you have no choice but to know |
| 04.10.04 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
As quoted from my sis earlier.
Felt a bit sad today after praying my grandparents in Mandai. It has been so many years but the animosity among my aunties have not lessen a bit. Since 1997, the 6 sisters and 1 brother broke into a fight. The eldest aunt broke ties with all of them and left them alone in their childish fight. 2nd aunt died a few yrs back of cancer. My 3rd aunt, together with 4th and 5th uncle allied against my 6th aunt. My mum (the youngest) did not want to get involved. And was thus ostracised too. It was only in 1998, that my 6th aunt got together with my mum and were very close since then. My 4th aunt died of cancer and patched back with my 6th aunt and mum. At her last breath, she wrote on the board that she is sorry. My aunt could not talk anymore coz she was wired up.
How did my dad's side get involved? Coz my dad's brother married my 3rd aunt's daughter. See the intricacy? Anyway, ever since the big quarrel, I was instructed not to talk to my cousins. TO treat them like they dun exist. Dun accept hong baos from my uncles and also to address them as idiots if I need to. But never call them. That was set by my mum yrs ago but she made me stick to it even till now. Of coz, I din call them idiots but seriously I am really sick of these childish and non-sensical fights. Yes, they did a lot of bad stuff. They curse and swear. They backstab. They hit my grandma. But, can't we just be more generous and forget abt it. My mum can't. She says that they bully us coz we dun fight back. Till now, my mum is still very burderned by this conflict. She can never let go...
Fine. That's the older gen. But can't we (the new gen) be friendlier and just forgive and forget. In my mum's family, I am the youngest. I used to hang out with my cousins a lot. But now, they have all marry and I can't hang out with them. We all become like strangers. My cousin dun even recognise me when we passed by coz I have changed a lot.
In my dad's family, I am the eldest. I am very close with all my cousins. We play together. We sleep together. We bath together. But now, we are strangers. We cannot talk to each other even if we want to for fear that our mums will "kill" us. So all we can do is to say hi very discretely. A quick smile. A quick wave. Sighz. My cousin has grown up so much. He is already in JC... Time flies and I wonder when this nonsense will end...
I miss the old days.
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| I'll be here for you |
| 04.09.04 (11:01 am) [edit] |
When you feel the sunlight
Fade into the cold night
Don't know where to turn
I don't know where to turn
And all the dreams you're dreaming
Seem to lose their meaning
Let me in your world
Baby, let me in your world
All you need is someone you can hold
Don't be sad, you're not alone
I will be here for you
Somewhere in the night
Somewhere in the night
I'll shine a light for you
Somewhere in the night
I'll be standing by
I will be here for you
In this world of strangers
Of cold and friendly faces
Someone you can trust
Oh there's someone you can trust
I will be your shelter
I'll give you my shoulder
Just reach out for my love
Reach out for my love
Call my name and my heart will hear
I will be there, there's nothing to fear
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| What an amazing day :D |
| 04.09.04 (9:32 am) [edit] |
[b]Some events tat simply amazed the boxers out of me[/b]
1. How can anyone survive in a campus without any canteen to serve food and shuttle buses to take you from one end of campus to another?
2. NUS students are exams freak! The whole campus was infested with muggers and more muggers even in the holz. *STRESSED*
3. I saw the mytery gal from Arts!!! I have been reading her "amazing" and "explicit" blog for a mth and I finally caught her crossing the road to Central Lib. She nearly caused me to lose my life coz I was "stunned" by her IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! Talk about being froze by a time stopping witch.
4. I was complimented for looking cute with a tan! *hee* I thot I was one all along. Haha...slap me.
5. How farnie and comical Singaporeans are on TV!! Was watching Gotcha on the bus and some Singaporeans were being fooled on TV. So entertaining.
6. How easy to trick my mummy on the phone. I told her I was looking for Mr Fong (my dad) and she asked who I was and I told her I am Mr Fong's son. And she was like "Eric is not at home..." Haha.
7. Someone gave me an Easter egg - what a pleasant surprise - thanks!!! Dun bear to eat it. Will put in fridge. *grinz*
8. I ended up explaining to my Accounting tutor what 'paid up capital' was when I was suppose to be asking him qns during consultation. *Sweat*
9. I was approached by this group of really young gals (16 or so) in the train for my number??!! Pick up line: You look like my fren's brother. Goodness.
10. How non-chalant I was when I realise I have less than 100 bucks in my bank now. Duh!!! God saves me. Ok, let's be practical - Dad, save me plssss...
And the most amazing thing...
It all happen it ONE day.
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| The feeling of lost love is unbearable... |
| 04.08.04 (9:12 pm) [edit] |
I know it is Gd Friday and it should be a joyous day for all. Christians coz it is the day when Jesus dies on a cross to wash away our sins. Indeed, this is a burden hard to carry. And for non Christians, it is a holiday!!! Haha...
Anyway was watching Charmed last night. Season 4 - Long Live the Queen. A veri sad epsiode coz Phoebe together with her sisters vanquished Cole, a demon no less, but a man she loves with all her heart. When she was crying for her lost love, I feel so attached to her coz it is like I can feel how she feel (not that I have a lost love...) but the feeling is really really unbearable... Oh my god, I hope this wun happen to me.
Leo: Hey.
Piper: Hey.
Leo: Why don't you go up and see her.
Piper: I don't know what to say. I can't imagine... I mean, if it had been you...
(Leo hugs her. Paige walks in through the front door.)
Paige: Hey.
Piper: Hey.
Paige: How's she doing?
Piper: I don't know, she hasn't come down yet.
Paige: How long have you been standing there?
Piper: A while.
Paige: Maybe we should go see her.
Piper. Okay. (They start to go upstairs and Piper stops.) [b]What if she wants to be alone?[/b]
Paige: [b]She's gonna be alone a lot. Maybe right now she needs us.[/b]
Piper: Right.
[i]
Frens, treasure your loved ones yeah? Be there for them... it is not just how much good times u have with the person that counts. It is how hard you hold on to the relationship in bad times that matters more ...[/i]
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| Potato & Cheese Pie - Resounding Success! |
| 04.08.04 (7:58 am) [edit] |
Yeah... I finally suceed in baking a potato & cheese pie on my own. And it is my 1st time making it somemore. I am soo relieved and happi. Hope you like the pie! :wink:
I was crying while making this pie coz of the stoopid onions! The recipe says 4 onions but I manage to only dice 2. It was unbearable. If I realli need to do another crying scene in this June's production, I will bring onions along, hehe.
For those who are keen in making it, here's the recipe. I modified it a bit to my taste.
[u]Ingredients[/u]
4 - 5 potatoes, 4 medium onions (2 also can), 25g butter, bacon bits, salt, pepper, 225 g mozerella & parmesian cheese. For white sauce: 35g butter, 35g flour, 425 ml skim milk
(For those without measuring equip, one teaspoon = 5 g)
[u]Steps to take[/u]
1. Peel potatoes and place in cold salted water.
2. Bring to boil & simmer till cooked (1/2 cooked will do).
3. Drain & cool the potatoes.
4. Slice onions fine.
5. Slice potatoes into big oval slices, not too thin; approximately 1cm thick
6. Butter the baking tray with butter,
7. Lay the potato to cover the bottom layer.
8. Add diced onions, cheese and bacon bits on 2nd layer.
9. Season with salt and pepper.
10. Continue layering with potatoes and then with onions etc.
11. Make around 3 layers with the top layer as potatoes.
12. Pour white sauce till it seeps into the tray.
13. Add more cheese if you want to.
14. Preheat oven to 200 and bake for 20 mins.
[u]How to make the white sauce[/u]
1. Heat butter in deep saucepan.
2. Add flour while removing the pan from fire.
3. Stir till you get a yellow paste.
4. Add skim milk and stir under low heat.
5. Continue stirring till you get a white cream. Should not be too thick or watery.
6. Season with salt and pepper for taste.
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| Our First Times |
| 04.07.04 (7:51 am) [edit] |
[i]My first take in writing a love poem for that special someone... [/i]
I will never forget how we first met,
coz it is as good as it gets.
Though we are only friends for now,
I’ll try not to let you down.
I will never forget the first time I look into your eyes,
the innocence that was disguised.
My feelings for you will never die,
Trust me, I am not like the other guys.
I will never forget the moment we first held hands,
how it makes everything seems so right.
It is like we are meant to dance,
forever and ever in the night.
I will never forget how we first kiss,
Love comes alive it sure is.
To me, it seems like bliss,
a true feeling that is hard to miss.
I will never forget all our first times,
like treasures they are hard to find.
From the bottom of my heart,
I pledge that we will never part.
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| Revelations on Love |
| 04.07.04 (6:26 am) [edit] |
1. It takes great courage to love - knowing that it may end anytime but having faith that it will last forever!
2. I have accepted the subtle difference between holding hands and chaining souls, learn that company ≠ security, kisses ≠ contracts and gifts ≠ promises.
3. Love, why does it hurt? Perhaps we love too much and too deep that sometimes we forget to keep a little for ourselves. And time doesn't heal the pain. You don't just get [i]over[/i] it; you get [i]along[/i] with the pain, in time.
Take heed, my frens. Love isn't free in this world. It comes with a price, a price that money cannot buy.
[i]So love like there is no tomorrow... [/i]
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| Mum's Specialty - Yong Tao Fu ~Yum Yum~ |
| 04.07.04 (5:41 am) [edit] |
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| Day 1 of Study Wk |
| 04.06.04 (4:13 am) [edit] |
Yupz, I am one day late. Study wk was supposed to be yesterday but with all the project deadlines and stuff, I had to start late. But better late than never. :wink:
But I handed in my Islam paper 3 days earlier. haha. Prof extended the deadline to Fri but since I am done, must as well send. Besides, Friday is a holiday and I am still wondering if I should also go out and play. *Deep Thoughs* Nevertheless, I am resolute to do well for this semester. Hopefully many mnay As and the worse a B which I predicted will be the case of my Operating Systems. Bleah. That stoopid Prof Roland decided to have a close book exams and he even told us that he will ask qns that we have not seen before and they will be of application kind rather than memory kind. Superb.
Oh and one more thing, I am my cousin's fave cousin. Hee. :lol: He is turning 12 this year and we are pretty close coz we both love Power Rangers and also playing com games. So usually during the holz, he will bunk in with me. And of coz his dad and me are singing buddies. Haha. Uncle Freddy has a KTV system (similar to Kbox) and he will always invite me to his big big house to sing. Heaven! Can't wait for exams to be over...
And to my lil cousin,
Gd luck for your FIFA World Cup Tournament! He is representing Singapore to play. Wonderful.
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| ~Cute Song~ You are my life! |
| 04.05.04 (9:40 am) [edit] |
Once in a lifetime,
You find your love at the right time.
And I found mine and it is you
You were the right one,
I wanted you as my one.
I knew I found a love that was true,
I just knew.
[b]
Now you are here in my life,
and from here, everything will be fine.
From down here, gonna fly
You are my heaven, my dream and my life.
You are my life.[/b]
Do you remember?
First time we met, still remember?
You were just 7, I was 10.
I really never thought that we would be together,
but i relive every moment again,
and again.
I try to be perfect to you,
try hard to be somebody who
meant all that you dreamt.
Of all, you wanted a man to depend on,
a man who could love no one but you.
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| More pics from Bintan |
| 04.05.04 (9:07 am) [edit] |
Yes... I had a lot fun @ Bintan. Tat's my answer to the the frequently asked question today in school. :D
The weather was fantastic. Sea was blue yet clear. Sand was soft to touch and lay on. The pool was inviting and invigorating. The food was excellent with a wide speard of Indonesian and Western cuisine. And of course, the company was absolutely marvellous. What more can I ask.
I am back in the battlefield again, battling against my next opponent - the exams! Darn right, the exams! Now, it is my turn to work hard. Wish me luck!
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| Bintan Getaway - A dream come true |
| 04.05.04 (8:37 am) [edit] |
Pictures tell a thousand words...
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| What's in a name? :D |
| 04.01.04 (12:20 pm) [edit] |
It's 4.15am and I am still up. Yiaks. When will I ever finish my Systems Thinking for 3251... Meanwhile, the name game!
[b]
Eric:[/b]
You have a need to communicate and express yourself. You are inclined to over intellectualize, and hate to be misquoted. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing.
[b]
Anqiang: [/b]
You are adventurous with a tendency to be foolhardy. You are aggressive and definitely have leadership abilities. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You have an adventurous spirit. You can be quite fun-loving. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You have a need to be up front. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job.
[b]
Feng: [/b]
You have an aptitude for dealing with the public. You would do well in entertainment and politics. You feel secure in group endeavors. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You need to learn proper evaluation of labor and work. You can be either a compulsive worker or a professional loafer.
http://www.geocities.com/jibroo/yourname.html" title="http://www.geocities.com/jibroo/yourname.html" target="_blank"http://www.geocities.com/jibr...
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| Don't drive your car like Formula One... |
| 04.01.04 (6:48 am) [edit] |
Hehe... Had my first driving revision today and this marks the start of yet another gruelling month to get my damm bloody cursed driving license. I can't believe it, I got back the same instructor again!! Haha. A veri nice guy, super patient with me too. He even remembered that I went to States for my exchange and sadly I am back.. Boo Hoo... I realli hope I wun get to see him again, at least not in SSDC for Christ Sake.
Anyway, after going without four months of car practice, my driving skills is still there, at least that's what he said. BUT... it is not enough. I need to observe safety rules!!! Gosh. Now u know why he comments "Don't drive your car like Formula One." I can't help it. People always say that I am very mild tempered but when I am on the road, I fume like a erratic bull. Drivers on the road are ridiculously selfish! They dun signal, they dun give way, they dun stop behind the white line, they like to challenge me on the road, they horn at me for checking my blind spots coz it slows them down. It is a CAR EAT CAR world on the road man! Too bad, I can only drive 50 km/hr else I am sure my Honda car can outrun most of the stoopid cars on the stoppid road. Ok, forgive me. I am bitching.
Time is running out. I only have another 24 hrs to do the following:
1. 3251 Project
2. 2106 Lab
3. Collect Annual Report from Jess at Co-op
4. Settle SCC stuff which is a lot lor - hmph
5. Pack my bag for Sat's trip
6. Prepare egg mayo sandwiches and potato salad
But at least, I have completed my 6000 word essay!!! Hoorraay!!!
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Fave Sites
Public Speaking for All
Eric's Official Site
DROP ME A LINE!
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