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| It's time for action, pussies! |
| 04.23.05 (9:11 pm) [edit] |
What have I been up to?
Hanging out with my best-est fren, Jac. Know her for like donkey years. Eee-haw! Eee-haw!
And yes, I have been mugging too. Mugger in Progress!
Many of my friends are going to grad this sem. And Jac brought up something. Think I am going to grad. with 2 bachelors in 2007. Bachelor of Computing & Bachelor! Goodness. But I kinda like it. All the freedom that comes along with it. And I heard that bachelors are allowed to date many many gals. And with the coming new age, I can date boys too. Haha. What a year for me!
As I was clearing my pic folders, I found this picture!!! It was this fateful day that I commit myself to being part of BLP Wave 4! Warriors of Light! Awesome~~~
Made a few calls today to check on some friends. Felt sad and fustrated at the same time...
I realise that many people love to delude themselves into non-reality. Many of them have wonderful dreams that require them to take the first step out of their comfort zone. These dreams have been in existence for years and they have sat in their shithole hoping (while some praying) for these dreams to land on their laps.
And as years go, instead of realizing that they have wasted their time. They come up with convincing reasons to explain their inactions. Oh, probably it is just not meant to be. God has not given me the sign yet. Perhaps it is for the best, to protect me from getting hurt. Fuck you people! Bunch of pussies!
Haven't you realise that it is all these crap that got you where you are. And instead of pulling yourself out of the shitload, you create more shit to stay in it. What if today is the last day of your life? Are you going to just skid past the finishing line and die? The sun will rise and set everyday but in between the sunrise and sunset are possibilities. Possibilties for us to create. Tough yes. But it is worth every drop of sweat. At the end of the day, even if you failed, at least you tried. But then again, this is nothing new. But who really have eyes to see and ears to hear. I wonder...
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| Have you ever love youself? |
| 04.19.05 (6:35 am) [edit] |
Know something? We always declare our love for the people around us, our parents, friends and most importantly our girfriends and boyfriends. But how many times do we declare love for ourselves? And the interesting qn I would like to ask all is "How do you love others if you don't love yourself?"
Many people in this world DO NOT love themselves well enough. They wait for people to make them complete, either through people's approval or acceptance. And they will do all that they can to be recognised and be accepted. And everything that they do become a compensation. I used to be like that too. Doing so many things to convince myself that I am useful in this world. That I am loved and accepted. And the love I seek will never be enough coz I am but an empty shell...
If people have love themselves truly, would they compromise their greatness?
If people have love themselves truly, would they undermine their strengths and belittle themselves?
If people have love themselves truly, do they need to constantly seek material things to make them whole?
I realise that love songs are always abt declaration of love for others. I am gonna make a difference this time and dedicate this love song for myself. Eric, I love you!
:wink:
[i]Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place[/i]
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| You are your own judge - can you pass yourself? |
| 04.16.05 (9:52 am) [edit] |
This has been a question that been lurking in my head for quite a while. But was triggered again during assisting in TCC this morning. Being the usual me, my addiction is one of approval. To do things just to make others see me in the different light or to do it because "He says so..." and usually that "He" is an authoritative figure. I realise for myself that this happens time after time. At times even for BLP. But frankly, do people care if you produce results? Why will they bother if you fly? But I get that there a bunch of people who are committed to my evolution. Who are committed to my possibilities. Question is "WHAT AM I COMMITTED TO?"
Am I committed to this "approval" addiction that runs me all the time. Even though I know the source of it, but many times (especially when I am not conscious) it comes back to run me. In today's TCC, I found it a double edge sword. In a totally new environment, I seek to find approval and recognition from the people around me and I will do whatever it takes to be noticed. Mostly through exam results or by doing the homework people gave me. BLP included. And then when u start to gain some recognition, your work is done and u slack. Happens a lot in NUS esp in my second and third yr. During my first yr, I worked freaking hard and got a name for myself. Best in Presentation. Best in business selling. Excellent CAP etc. And then I start slacking.. and my CAP start dropping coz I find no reason to do any work. I wasn't committed to performing. I was just committed to seeking approval and I got it. And I stop working...
Hehe, was realli happi to get this realization. And yes, this also marks a poignant step in my evolution. So question remains, what am I committed to? I realise that I am ultimately my own judge and I can fool the world but no myself. What I would like to re-establish and re-declare is my commitment to my studies and relationships with people. I AM COMMITTED TO PRODUCING MY VERY BEST. I AM NOT COMMITTED TO THE SHIT AND EXCUSES I GAVE MYSELF TO UNDERMINE MY BIGGER SELF. And ladies and gentleman, that is who I am. And FYI, I dun need your approval. :wink:
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| The body needs a break... |
| 04.14.05 (8:33 am) [edit] |
Yes you hear me right. This shell of mine is protesting. Showing signs of resistance to work and doesn't react well to stress anymore. Guess the days of busy bee is over yeah. Well it is about time I start shedding this tiresome image of mine and recreate a new mask for myself. Well isn't this world a world of masquerade anyway? Keke.
The dean of U-Penn came to visit us today. And he got me excited. Haha. I will get to see all four seasons. Play with snow. Ski. Surf. Tour. Hike. Eat. Yes thats the most important of all. Rest assured that I will take loads of pics and this time to properly keep them so I can still show my grandson in the late future.
Realli looking forward to this trip. One, I get to live out of my comfort zone and experience life. Two, away from Singapore - a boring place to me. Three, I consider this a major vacation that I am going to take before I graduate. What a way to end my studies yeah. But frankly life is more than work and studies. I got that. And to me, these pursuits are not that important anymore. Without them, one can still enjoy life and experience heaven on earth. A lil. more money only makes you higher that's all. In essence there is no difference.
Anyway, I have made plans for the holz. What's new. I plan to BUM around for one whole week. Yes. Have not done that b4. It is sure gonna bore me but let's try and see how it go. Oh and as usual, before any long examinations (mine will last for onli one day, haha) I plan to go for a 2-3 days getaway. Prob to Thailand or Bintan, depending on package. Boy, I am so looking forward to it. Woohoo....
Dear Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, Taoists etc ..... no need to wait till death to go to heaven. It is here on Earth, in the wild flowers, in the sunrise, in the people... if only you have eyes to see. And to Santanists, have HELL-uva time! Pun intended!
Greeted by the sun @ my window
Heaven before your eyes
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| Waiting - what's the point? |
| 04.10.05 (8:38 am) [edit] |
So much for my beauty sleep. I told myself that I am gonna sleep from 10 to 8 everyday so that I wun look like a panda again but... :cry: Whatever!
Took me quite a while to find this song. Do people wait becoz they need to convince themselves there is still something worth waiting for? Or they refuse to acknolwedge that the relationship has ended and it is time to move on.
金色的舞鞋伴着音 baby
你的眼睛是一弯深 的湖水
忽明 忽灰 掩藏着不可思议的
让我眩晕像在悬崖
谁知一睁眼就不见
Waiting for you i'm waiting for you Waiting for you kiss me at the night
为何你cinderella 留给我一望无际的 念
Waiting for you i'm waiting for you Waiting for you come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转 一直到黑发成了银
Waiting for you waiting for you 直到永远
It's really pointless. Why do I even care...
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| Simplicity of Life |
| 04.10.05 (6:22 am) [edit] |
When was the last time you actually stop and appreciate the simple beauty of life?
In awe of the deep blue sea
Absorbing the breathtaking sunset - even the birds and insects went silent.
Chilling out on a frozen river with fishes underneath
What is it like to have the world world under you?
Oh, not forgetting the company of really great friends!
One word.
Heaven.
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